Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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