you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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