I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize