After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize