I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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