Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Who did Billy Mays play for?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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