May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you made out with another girl for some wings
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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