woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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