she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize