Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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