you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
pop tarts are not kleenex
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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