oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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