yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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