I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
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I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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