Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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