my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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