Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize