Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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