come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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