I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize