Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize