After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
be right there i have to get my cape
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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