people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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