I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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