Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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