When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize