I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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