Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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