i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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