I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize