i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize