So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize