i already hear my dad disowning me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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