If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize