It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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