if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We need to get me chipped asap
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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