u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
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I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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