He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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