3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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