DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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