I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize