Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
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I wish they made helmets for livers.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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