god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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