4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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