Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq

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(845): View more from New York

i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.

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(845): i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie. http://tfl.nu/9q37

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(734): View more from Michigan

I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.

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(734): I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue. http://tfl.nu/xccr

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(315): Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/l6zl

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(310): View more from California

can your parents tell?

(310): View more from California

i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

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(310): can your parents tell? (310): i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know http://tfl.nu/rda5

Replies (26) Good night (9441) Bad night (1351)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

(316): View more from Kansas

Just the budget?

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(515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e

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(732): View more from New Jersey

say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....

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(732): say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today.... http://tfl.nu/1sxc

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(360): View more from Washington

corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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(360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7

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(260): View more from Indiana

I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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(260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

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(850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs

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(314): View more from Missouri

also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!

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(314): also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!! http://tfl.nu/6chb

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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(920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b

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(214): View more from Texas

You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.

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(214): You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate. http://tfl.nu/ezsl

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(914): View more from New York

If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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(914): If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick. http://tfl.nu/06qn

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

(501): View more from Arkansas

Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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(501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd

Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (271)

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