Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize