cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize