i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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