i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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