this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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